Tuesday, May 13, 2014

I didn't watch Joe Hockey deliver his budget last night; but from what I am reading today, It appears it's going to hurt a lot of people.
Maybe someone who reads this blog could pass this post on to Hockey. It would show him millions of dollars of savings in Medicare. Instead of slugging people for a visit to the GP, Medicare could reap millions more if the guidelines on referrals were revised and adapted.
Recent health problems I have experience and the number of visits to my GP to obtain referrals to specialists, prompted me to think and share my concerns with a few people about this system which can and should be changed. Instead of targeting those who can least afford it( Pensioners, the unemployed, struggling families and a number of other Australians) I wonder if Hockey knows he is sitting on a gold mine. Do a bit of digging Joe. Who knows, you may discover a diamond mine as well!
Please do spend a bit of time to read and listen to the short clip on the link below:

Thursday, May 1, 2014

Does Friendship replace Love?

It’s not a lack of love, but a lack of friendship that makes unhappy marriages.

Friedrich Nietzsche.

I read this quote a few days ago and have since been thinking about the truth in this statement. Mr Nietzsche makes a good point; but I believe the same applies to families in general, not only married couples.

I have also read somewhere that friendship comes at a cost. But why does it have to? Suppose us humans left everyone free - to be themselves. Do you know what that would produce? It produces free people with no fear of reprisals and it produces another thing-Friendship.

Within a family, one tends to become possessive, even aggressive at times and to demand that the other comply with our views and likes and dislikes, thus taking away the freedom of thought, speech and action from another. I plead guilty to all of the above!  This attitude produces conflict and unhappiness.

I have thought long and hard about the wisdom in words written by my brother Anthony (Tony) deMello, in a posthumously published book titled, Call to Love. Gujarat Sahitya Prakash (booksgsp@gamil.com). The book contains 31 meditations on daily living-In Freedom! Nietzsche I think would agree with Tony. Particularly with the meditation I quote:



Foxes have holes, and birds of the air have nests; but the Son of man has nowhere to lay his head.

M t. 8, 20

Here is a mistake that most people make in their relationships with others. They try to build a steady nesting place in the ever moving stream of life.

Think of someone whose love you desire. Do you want to be important to this person, to be especial and make a difference to his/her life?

Do you want this person to care for you and be concerned about you in a special way? If you do, open your eyes and see that you are foolishly inviting others to reserve you for themselves, to restrict your freedom for their benefit, to control your behaviour, your growth and development so that it will suit their interest.

It is as if the other person said to you, “If you want to be especial to me then you must meet my conditions. Because the moment you cease to live up to my expectations, you will cease to be especial.” You wanted to be especial to someone, didn’t you? So you must pay a price in lost freedom. You must dance to the other person’s tune just as you demand that other persons dance to yours if they want to be especial to you.

Pause now to ask yourself if it is worth paying so much for so little.

Imagine you say to this person whose special love you want, “Leave me free to be myself, to think my thoughts, to indulge my taste, to follow my inclination, to behave in ways that I decide are to my liking.”

The moment you say those words you will understand that you are asking for the impossible. To ask to be especial to someone means essentially to be bound to the task of making yourself pleasing to this person. And therefore to lose your freedom. Take all the time you need to realize this.

May be now you are ready to say, “I’d rather have my freedom than your love.” If you could either have company in prison or walk the earth in freedom all alone, which would you choose?

Now say to this person, “I leave you free to be yourself, to think your thoughts, to indulge your taste, follow your inclinations, and behave in any way that you decide is to your liking.”

The moment you say that you will observe one of two things:

Either your heart will resist those words and you will be exposed for the clinger and exploiter that you are (so now is the time to examine your false belief that without this person you cannot live or cannot be happy);

Or your heart will pronounce the words sincerely and in that very instant all control, manipulation, exploitation, possessiveness, jealousy will drop. “I leave you free to be yourself: to think your thoughts, indulge your tastes, follow your inclinations, and behave in ways that you decide are to your liking.”

And you will notice something else:

The person automatically ceases to be especial and important to you.

And he/she becomes important the way a sunset or a symphony is lovely in itself, the way a tree is especial in itself and not for the fruit or the shade that it can offer you. Your beloved will then belong not to you but to everyone or to no one like the sunrise and the tree.

Test it by saying those words again: “I leave you free to be yourself... “

In saying those words you have set yourself free. You are now ready to love. For when you cling, what you offer the other is not love but a chain by which both you and your beloved are bound. Love can only exist in freedom. The true lover seeks the good of his beloved which requires especially the liberation of the beloved from the lover.

Need I say more?